My profession is generally thought to be populated by quiet, if not introverted, relatively harmless people.  But that’s not how it really is.  We are a violent group, as noted by our jargon…
  • We execute programs as a routine practice.
  • The fruit of our labor has one of two choices:  It runs or it dies.
  • We abort jobs when they don’t perform to our liking.
  • Our primary communication device is a terminal.
  • After a test run is completed, or a production process fails, we do a post-mortem review.
  • Sometimes our programs hang.  When this happens, if they don’t die on their own, we’ll eventually kill them.
  • We terminate cables.
  • If we don’t have time to build a solution properly, we’ll hack it.
  • When we don’t have an answer, we’ll take a stab at it (not exclusively I.T., but applicable nonetheless).
  • When a server is no longer useful, you can bet we’ll take it down, and it’s not getting back up.

Now, do you still want to mess with this group?

 

Programmer:  1) a nocturnal organism that interacts by mumbling, survives on pizza and coffee, and communicates with inanimate objects.  2) a device for turning coffee into software.

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