Category: Food and drink

It’s worth waiting behind ALL of these people when you’re late for work… that’s what!!!

Today, you get the joy of TWO posts!  And both were done at a time when a 9-5 worker should actually be awake!  This one undoubtedly reflects the spirit of randomness upon which this site was founded.


Over Christmas, my mother-in-law reacted with surprise when I ate a "Mounds" bar because she thought she was the only coconut connoisseur in the family (by some bizarre freak of nature, I actually like my mother-in-law – go figure!).  “I like everything,” I told her.  I then clarified with the list of foods that I don’t like.  Granted there may be a hundred others, but I’m only going on things I’ve eaten and truly know I don’t like.


Are ya ready?


Here it is…


I don’t like (presented in the colors of the foods themselves for extra effect):

  • Liver – Your body has a filter that pulls all the toxins out of the bloodstream.  It’s your liver (granted, it does lots of other stuff, too, though).  It’s the same for other mammals, too.  You wouldn’t pull the filter out of your water system and proceed to suck the slime out of it.  I am not willing to eat the filter.
  • Cottage Cheese – OK.  I have no reason not to eat this.  It just repulses me because of the curds.
  • Sesame Jellyfish Arms – I’m guessing very few of you will argue with this one.  I went to a traditional Chinese New Year celebration in New York City in 1988.  Everything was delectable.  I saw a plate full of what looked like sauerkraut, and – thinking it was seaweed – took a heaping pile of it.  Instead of hot, salty vegetable matter, it was cold, sesame flavored jellyfish arms, which had the texture of rubber bands.  I think it would have been better if that were what I was expecting, but the flavor-shock caused me to nearly gag.  I ate the whole pile to be polite, but I can’t even think about this without a hint of queasiness.  My apologies to the Chinese crowd, for whom this is a celebratory dish.
  • Octopus Sushi/Sashimi – Again with the cold, fishy flavored, rubber band stuff.

Well, that’s it.  The whole list comes down to four things.  Other stuff was brought up like haggis, tongue, and brains.  Can’t say I’d like them, but I don’t know because I haven’t tried.  I have issues with brains, though, as I’d be afraid of altering my own chemical balance.  Laughing sickness (see the second paragraph of this linked document) is one of the most rare illnesses in the world, affecting only cannibals who eat brains.  Cows have a lot of medical similarities to humans, so I’d avoid their brains too.

OK, well I mentioned it, I suppose I should continue with the second of the computer geek’s favorite chemicals… 
It’s what makes hot foods hot.  While I don’t have any physical tributes to it, it’s even available on a tee shirt!!  Yeah, you read that right.  It’s from a website called "thinkgeek", which I frequent when I need a gadget fix.
I am not the master of the spicy foods.  That has to go to my friend Drew (who always gets the last laugh when someone gives him the "that’s really hot…are you sure?" warning).  However, there are very few in my office (department? vocation?) who can resist the allure of painfully hot wings and beer.  When we go for nice food, it’s generally Thai (Ayothaya in Orlando, FL), Cajun (Voodoo Rouge, recently discovered in the Norfolk, VA area), or Mexican/Southwestern (OK, best I got right now is Moe’s, but they’re really good!).
I don’t understand the need for this stuff.  I don’t know what the ability to communicate with inanimate objects has to do with burning the upper layers off of every surface within your mouth.  Michelle laughs at me as I sweat through dinner.  I just love it.
If I have a cold, I need my spicy food and a good supply of tissues (too much info, I know, but it would be wrong to hold back now).  By the time dinner’s done, I’m clearer than any box of Sudafed can deliver.
Anyone want me to post on the topic of spicy-food-aftermath?  I didn’t think so.  I’ve heard chocolate ice cream is the cure (eaten after dinner… not applied to the affected area!).